Ginawa ko ito! (I made it!)
I have survived one of the most mentally and spiritually exhausting weeks of my life. My mental capacity has been stretched by setting a goal of memorizing 50 Tagalog/Filipino words each day. In a few weeks, I'll only be able to speak Tagalog from the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep. I was told that at some point, we are also going to be studying "Taglish." Taglish is what is widely spoken here in the Philippines and consists of Tagalog, English, and Spanish words. That should be very interesting.
We've been asked to memorize several scriptures in Tagalog, including Moroni 10:5:
"At sa pamamagitan ng kapangyarihan ng espiritu santo malalaman ninyo ang katotohanan ng lahat ng bagay." In English: "And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."
I'm grateful to be on this journey of both finding truth and teaching others how they can find truth. I'm grateful that we can go to God in humble, sincere prayer and know that He will communicate with us through His Spirit.
My kasama (companion) is Elder Darrington from Highland, Utah. He recently graduated from Lone Peak High School and he's a pretty great guy. I'm looking forward to learning more about him in the next few weeks. Other missionaries in my district are from Twin Falls and Boise, Idaho; Cokeville, Wyoming; Mesa, Arizona; New Zealand; and a few other places.
Our mattresses are not really mattresses. They're very firm and remind me a lot of concrete. We have a sheet to lay on and a sheet to put over us each night. It's actually kind of chilly because they have to keep the air conditioning on to keep the mildew from growing. Speaking of cold, our showers are not heated. No more 20-minute showers for me! I'm in and out in about three minutes.
Every minute of every day, including our "day off" or Preparation Day, is scheduled solid. (Our P-Days are on Thursdays here at the MTC.) We don't have any time to just sit and rest and relax. We get an hour each day for exercise, usually at night. So far we've played a lot of basketball and I'm looking forward to playing some soccer.
They have a marketplace which is very close to the MTC and the Temple, which is just across the street. My kasama (companion) and I will be going later today to see if they have any good food or candy.
A Powerful Lesson:
I learned what it feels like to be at the highest of spiritual of moments. I've also experienced the lows as I've had to acknowledge I wasn't trying my hardest to do all that I was asked to do.
I've already experienced a few moments where I understood clearly that I wasn't doing my part, and as a result, wasn't getting access to the great spiritual promises that are available to me as a misyonero (missionary). I realized that my mental and physical capacity actually allows me to do a whole lot more than I was doing at the time. After a few hours of what can only be described as slacking off, I felt God's Spirit withdraw from me. Keep in mind, I wasn't doing anything bad. I just wan't doing everything that God and I knew I could be doing to learn the language. I was asked to serve as a District Leader (in charge of helping 11 other new missionaries) and I wasn't fulfilling my duties by teaching them or trying to lift them up as they were experiencing their own lows.
I've never really experienced such a reprimand from the Spirit before and I hope to never feel that way again. In that moment, I felt so hopeless and sad that I had, in a way, let everyone down. Later that day, I did my best to right that wrong. I recorded the following in my journal: "
I promise that from now on, I will do better, I will be better, and I will help others to do their best. I as a district leader have failed." That night, after reading my scriptures and praying, I was given a reminder that I may have not done as much as I could have, but when I can't do it alone or when I feel inadequate, I can always rely on the Holy Ghost for guidance and reassurance. I can quickly realign my will with God's and once again fulfill my responsibilities.
Food:
I'll try to mention some of the fun and interesting foods I've tried during my weekly blog updates.
My first meal in the Philippines was fish heads and chicken hearts with a huge helping of rice. Talk about a shock to the system. In the last week, I've eaten more fish than I have the last four or five years of my life. Looks like my appetite and tastes may need to change a little.
One of the meals we ate included a pig face. I did my best. I had to pick around all the fat and cartilage to get as much meat as possible. That was quite the experience.
Rice. They serve a lot of rice at every meal. Not a little rice or even a couple of big scoops, but a mountain
of rice. I have the feeling I'm going to be mostly made of rice before my Philippines adventure is done.
Meat: They serve fat and gristle as main courses here. I miss good, lean meat.
Spiritual Thought:
We got to hear from a General Authority of the church the other day. He had some great things to say, but one of the things he shared really touched me. In Luke chapter 5, the Savior was teaching some people by the shore of a lake in Gennesaret. The fishermen were done for the day and were washing their nets. It's important to note that they were taking good care of their nets. Those nets represented their livelihood and were very important to them.
The Savior stood in Simon/Peter's boat and taught the people for a while. He then instructed Simon/Peter to "Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught." Simon/Peter objected and said their fishing had not been successful all night. Additionally, they had already cleaned the nets and would have to do it again if they were again unsuccessful.
Simon/Peter obeyed and "they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake." They caught so many fish that they called to their friends for help. The Savior then called Simon / Peter, James, John and others to be fishers of men (to preach the gospel to them). In verse 11, it says "they forsook all, and followed him."
I was struck that they were obedient, even though they probably thought it would result in a lot of extra work re-cleaning the nets. And again, I was impressed that they were willing to forsake "all" to follow Christ. Even their important nets.
I guess I'm kind of doing the same thing by being here in the Philippines. I'm willing to forsake the things that have been going on in my life, like college and work and family, to serve the people of the Philippines, Cavite mission for a couple of years.
That's about it. One week down, many weeks to go. I can already tell this is going to be quite a roller-coaster ride. Thank you, everyone, for all your support and your prayers. Be sure to check out my other pictures in the
Gallery
part of the blog.
I Love you all!!!
Elder Smith